Adrenaline.

Hi.

I stare at this blank space. The place where I used to pour all my thoughts into. The place where I shared my heartbreaks, happiness and all that happened to me in life. I look back at the previous posts I've had and I start to ponder. About how life could have and would have been if things were so much different then. I wonder how much time I've lost holding on to things that were never meant to be, wallowing in self-pity and drowning myself in senseless ramblings. I regret, I regret not saying things that should have been said, not doing things that should have been done. As I re-read the previous entries, I find myself always trapped in this whirlwind of feelings that could have been expressed better if I had the courage to take the step forward. I see where I am now, where I was before, and wonder what had happened to the girl I used to be. I miss how I would use to write, how it made me stronger and better. How it made me feel that "hey, maybe I could be good at something if I tried harder". This thought even manifested into a dream, of a career that I might pursue in the future. Well but being me, I almost always let self-doubts get the better of me.

This holiday, things are going to be different.
I'm going to make things different. I know it.

Starting from now.